


When You're Out of Fuel, I'm Still Afloat

by ahintofsparkle



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:52:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3420059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahintofsparkle/pseuds/ahintofsparkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story takes place towards the end of Series 2, Episode 2 and acts as an added event in the storyline; therefore, dialogue within the bathroom scene is true to what is said in MMFD.</p><p>Their relationship was going through a rough patch. Finn surprises Rae a special concert ticket.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You're Out of Fuel, I'm Still Afloat

_I’d forgotten, I’d forgotten that there’s something in his lips. And, no matter how crap my life was, no matter how much I didn’t fit in at college, no matter what, when I had his lips, I had his kiss, and so long as I had that, I knew everything would be okay._

 

Rae reflected back on those thoughts. She was trying to stay under the radar at college and had convinced herself to only see Finn outside of Stamford City College walls. That being said, she had purposely been avoiding him during college hours. When she had been unable to escape his line of sight, she pulled him into the handicapped stall, where their tension escalated: 

“I just don’t get it,” Rae admitted.

“You don’t get what?” Finn asked, not understanding where she was going with it.

“You’re an eleven, and I’m a four.”

A puzzled look sat upon his face as he muttered, “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You should be going out with people like Stacy, not someone like me! Most people, when they see us, must be thinking, ‘oh, he must be mad, goin’ out with _that!’”_

“That what?” His face fell as he tried to understand her suffering. As Rae’s silence droned on, his frustration surged until his raised voice called out. “That what?! You don’t tell me who I can and can’t fancy, alright? _That_ is mine! That belongs to me—no one else, no one, not even you!”

“So why _do_ you like me?” Rae retorted, feeding energy to the argument.

“Because, I do, that’s it!”

“But, why!?” Her volume quickly surpassed his. She still could not fathom why someone like him would, or could, ever want someone like her.

“Just because! Now, are you gonna stop being such a dickhead?”

“Stop calling me a dickhead!” Moving closer to Finn, she challenged his words. “You’re the dickhead—“ 

That argument ended in a kiss and had eased Rae’s anxieties; however, she was still questioning her decision to be with Finn. There was no way for her to tell if she was ready to be in an actual relationship. He was all she had been searching for—an incredibly handsome boy to sweep her off her feet and make her feel loved—but she wondered if she was strong enough to handle it all.

Upon hearing the knocking, Rae traveled down the stairs and opened the door to see a grinning Finn. Suddenly, Finn pulled out a pair of small, rectangular pieces of paper. Rae, confused at her boyfriend’s actions, plucked one from his grasp; and, upon further inspection, recognized the text scattered on it: “GA, THE GARAGE LONDON, THU 21 AUG 1996.” And there, on the middle of what she came to realize was a ticket, bolded letters formed her holiest word, “ **WEEZER**.”

Rae could not control her emotions as Finn explained that he was taking her to see the band headline the Pinkerton tour, promoting their soon to be released album. Finn lived to see his girl’s face illuminate in excitement; for him, there was no better feeling. After many attempts, he had finally found a way to turn Rae’s attention away from all of the anxious thoughts and negative occurrences and towards glimpses of actual happiness.

A few days following the grand surprise, the two found themselves making the two-hour drive from their small town of Stamford in Lincolnshire to the big city of London. Once at the venue, they secured a spot in line and seated themselves upon the cold sidewalk. Rae surveyed her surroundings and took note of the number of people around. When the familiar fear of judgment began to creep up on her, she focused her energy on suppressing the anxiety. She refused to let her mind ruin the night. With Finn by her side, her mind had no reason to wander.

The two passed the majority of the time by discussing nothing other than their favorite topic: music. Conversation of songs and bands evolved into Finn telling stories about the time when they boys went to Knebworth to go see Oasis. He was filling her in on all of the details that she missed when the venue workers began alerting everyone that the doors were soon to open. In their excitement, the two forgot all about past shows and their minds became clouded with thoughts of what was going to happen once inside, in front of that stage.

After what felt like forever, the people at the beginning of the queue started filing in through the doorway. Once Finn and Rae reached the entrance, they handed their tickets over to the workers, who promptly returned the ticket stubs. They were ushered onto the floor of the venue and settled into a spot just left of center stage. Even though they were not up against the rail, they were only a few rows back, so they didn’t have much to complain about.

About a half an hour later, people were still trickling into the room, filling up the space behind the couple. Nothing had been able to diffuse her ecstatic demeanor. That was until Rae overheard a comment that was made behind her. The words of the girl to the back of her rang through her mind: “for fuck’s sake, it is so crowded in here. I bet I’d be able to move my arms more if that fat cow wasn’t taking up enough space for two normal sized people!” Then, from the source of the annoyed voice came a string of laughter. 

Rae tried her best to thicken her skin and not allow the comment to penetrate the wall she had built up in her mind. Finn offered her encouraging words in order to deflect her thoughts. He gave her his heart-melting smile and took up her hand in his, easing her while intertwining their fingers.  

The couple buried themselves in conversation until the first band took the stage. Neither of them had heard the supporting bands before, but that did not stop them from rocking out to the unfamiliar music. During each set, Finn could not stop stealing glances at her; he hadn’t seen her so happy before. When Weezer finally appeared on stage, Rae could hardly contain her excitement. She wasn’t one to show herself in a frenzy, so she maintained her composure but let her awe shine through. 

Their set list was a mix of songs from their 1994 album, _Weezer_ , and their album that was to be released the following month, entitled _Pinkerton_ :

  1. “Undone – The Sweater Song”
  2. “My Name Is Jonas”
  3. “Pink Triangle”
  4. “No One Else”
  5. “El Scorcho”
  6. “In the Garage”
  7. “Why Bother?”
  8. “The World Has Turned and Left Me Here”
  9. “Falling for You”
  10. “Getchoo”
  11. “Say It Ain’t So”
  12. “The Good Life”
  13. “Buddy Holly”
  14. “Surf Wax America”
  15. “Tired of Sex”
  16. “Jamie” 



When they started to play “Buddy Holly,” Rae couldn’t help but sing along, loudly, with Rivers Cuomo. Every time that a song from the new album began, she would stand there in the crowd, in awe, taking in every single note, chord, beat, and lyric, ensuring that she would be able to relish in the beauty of those new songs when she returned home. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her smiling up at her idols. Finn untangled their fingers and brought her hand up to his midsection. He rested her hand over his and began tracing letters in her palm with his index finger: 'G-O-O-D?' He raised his head to look at her and was met with her adorable smile. 

She nodded in his direction, watching as a small grin slowly crept onto his face. “Better than good.”

After the last encore song was finished, people began funneling out of the venue. Everyone was moving at such different speeds that the couple was threatened by separation multiple times; however, Finn kept his eyes locked on her, as he tightened his grip around her hand. When they finally escaped the craziness within the club’s walls, the adrenaline was still coursing through Rae’s veins. It made Finn so thrilled to see her thoroughly enjoying herself and keeping her mind occupied with something other than thoughts of anxiety and paranoia.

It wasn’t going to last that long for her, though; she could only suppress her thoughts for so long. However, Finn couldn’t know, she would not allow that.

As the couple was walking to the car, her fears came true. She could hear snickering and hushed whispers all around her. Everyone was staring at her and her boyfriend, her perfectly handsome hunk of a boyfriend. She knew what they were all thinking, too. Turning her head to see the small clusters of people, she was faced with the source of the laughter. People were pointing her out to their friends, trying to hide their hands as they did so, but doing a pathetic job of it. 

“Is something wrong, Rae?” Finn inquired, worried that he might have done something that warranted the expression plastered on her face. 

“Ah, nope, nope. Everything’s fine, I was just taking a peek to see if Rivers Cuomo was going to come out, but, uh, nope! No sign of him!” She turned her attention back onto being with Finn and making sure he knew she was okay; however, in the back of her mind, the thoughts were welling and threatening to drown her.

 

_I’ll be fine, yeah? I can get through this. I’ve got Finn with me now. I don’t need to worry anymore._


End file.
